So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize