i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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