so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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