so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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