remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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