I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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