I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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