So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
