u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
