the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
