We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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