Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
