We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize