he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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