Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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