don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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