Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
