Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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