I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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