you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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