My room smells like vodka and shame
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
