i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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