Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
