this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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