I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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