Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
