I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
