I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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