May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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