well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
