The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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