I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
