If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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