Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
