whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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