"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
