It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
