Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
