I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
