thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
