I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
