when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she woke up with a sticky ear
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
