everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize