you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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