Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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