...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize