all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
