so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize