Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize