They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do herpes really smell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
