I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
