ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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