I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
