dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
