idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
