So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
