Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so much tequila, so little girl.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize