my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
