Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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