Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize